Home > Recipes > Too Many Cupcakes

Too Many Cupcakes

You guys should know that I don’t always bake this much. Well, no, that’s not true. I didn’t bake in the old house because the kitchen was dark and sad, and it didn’t really inspire creativity or happiness. Or really anything.

The new kitchen inspires all of those things, and more. More cupcakes, more cookies, more muffins, more pizzas. Oh jeez. It’s a more overload.

Yesterday I made two batches of delicious chocolate cupcakes for the campOUT fundraising party. A dozen chocolate, a dozen chocolate with cherries. They were crazy good. Not my usual super dense fudge-style, either. I made then cakey, because that’s how the boyfriend likes them. I ate too many of them, and then I ate my weight in frosting, and then we got to the party, and I ate more things. It was a little too much, actually. And so today, instead of making those again, I made vanilla. And more frosting.

I’m not trying to bulk up for wrestling season, but I bake like I am. Oops. Did I mention the chocolate peanut butter cookies from earlier this week?

Chocolate Cupcakes with Chocolate Buttercream

1 cup of non-dairy milk

1/4 cup oil (canola or other lightly flavored cooking oil)

1/2 cup sugar or a little more- don’t bother scraping the excess off of your measuring cup.

3 tsp vanilla extract (USE THE GOOD STUFF- none of that vanilla-flavored shit in these cupcakes. ew.)

1/4 cup starch- corn or tapioca work best

2 tbsp flaxseed meal

1 1/2 tsp xanthan gum (Bob’s Red Mill makes it, and the bag you buy will last forever)

1/3 cup cocoa powder, also not exact

1/2 cup rice flour (brown or white or a mixture of the two)

1/2 cup quinoa, corn, or soy flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

EASY. This is so easy. With so many ingredients, you’d think it would be the hardest thing you’ve ever made, but that’s a lie. Preheat your oven to 350- use an oven thermometer if you have any doubts. I had an oven once that just shut off whenever it felt like it, and also guessed a lot at temperature. I made cupcakes for a wedding with that oven, and let me just say it sucked. A lot. It just sucked. All of the cupcakes took different amounts of time, it was all guessing and poking and turning the oven back on while there was stuff in it. Ugh. OvenFAIL.

Mix all of your liquids together until it’s emulsified. Add the starch, flax, and xanthan gum. Turn up your mixer, and beat that shit until the starch dissolves. It’s going to take a while if you’re doing this by hand. I’m sorry.

Put all of your dry ingredients into a sifter (buy a sifter!) and, ya know, sift them together. Sifting aerates the flours, gets rid of any giant lumps, and mixes everything together before it gets wet. Have you ever bitten into a baked good and gotten the baking soda bits? Or a salty corner of the cake? That’s because it wasn’t mixed properly. Or whoever made it just didn’t care. WE CARE.

Add your dry to your wet in two batches. Mix forever. Until it looks like batter! It’ll actually start forming gluten-esque threads after a few minutes, which is because of the magic xanthan gum. That’s why we use it! Whooo. Fill up your cupcake pan. I don’t like using cupcake liners, because they’re wasteful, and the things are only two bites worth of baked good anyway, so wrapping them is kind of useless, right? They’ll be gone ten minutes after you make them anyway. If you have to travel with them, or you’re not eating them right now, or you don’t have faith in your pans, use a liner. I use a nonstick pan. It’s great. “Butter” yours if it’s not nonstick.

Use all of the batter! It should be just about perfect. If you have extra, get out another pan. If you don’t have enough, then you made them too big.

Bake. 21 minutes. Poke at one to make sure it’s done all the way through. Take ’em out, let them cool. Make some frosting.

1 part fake butter

1 part shortening

a splash of vanilla extract

1/2 cup cocoa powder

lots of powdered sugar, sifted (between 2 1/2 and 4 cups, depending on your preferences)

2/3 cup non-dairy milk

Anywhere between 1/4 and 1/2 cup of your fats will make a decent batch of frosting. If you want extra to eat on things (like oreos, or a steak) use more. Best judgment, you can do it. Cream them together. Add in your vanilla, mix it again. Add in the cocoa and some sugar. Mix it again. Splash in enough milk to get it all to mix together. Add more sugar, mix again. Splash in some milk when it gets dry. Add more sugar. Mix again. Taste it. Get out a spoon. If you want a thicker frosting, add more sugar. If you like it where it is, don’t.

If the cupcakes are cool, frost them. If they’re not, eat some frosting and watch a movie. Then frost them. Or don’t, it’s up to you. You can just eat frosting all night if you want. That’s cool. That’s what I’m doing, I won’t judge you.

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  1. Lisa
    06/17/2010 at 2:23 pm

    YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

    • 06/17/2010 at 5:22 pm

      You are so sweet. Any time you need a baked good fix, you let me know, okay?

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